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Why do we all love "Charles in Charge"? The answer is evident - because it's very funny!! Hence I decided to collect some of the best jokes from the series. The porblem is, I translated most of them from Russian, so there many mistakes in them. If you remember more precise quote, mail me. All other quotes are of course welcome.


Charles to Buddy: Oh, it's happened again that you forgot your brain under the pillow!

Charles to Buddy: Buddy, somebody has blowed up a candle in your head!

Charles to Buddy: If one applies your head to one's ear, one will hear the noise of the sea!

Charles to Buddy: Another pearl from that oyster you call a brain!

Charles to Buddy: Did your brain come preassembled or did you glue it together yourself?

Charles to Buddy: On the evolutianory scale you're just the small step above wood!

Charles to Buddy: I'm always asked, why are we friends... And I answer, it's because I'm not allowed to have a pet!

Charles to Buddy: Inside a cow's head, there's a brain the size of a walnut. Inside your head, there's a walnut the size of a brain.

Buddy: Oh, and I thought, that "Charles" spells with double "l"!
Charles: And I thought, that you have two hemispheres. We were both wrong!

Charles: Does the dentist ring a bell?
Buddy: No Charles, the Salvation Army rings a bell.
[The scene is Charles is talking to Buddy who has forgotten to pick up one of the children at the dentist's office]

Mr Powell: What's Nurse Bennet's first name?
Buddy: Nurse!

Buddy: A friend of mine is a friend of the Smothers Brothers' mother's brother's other brother.

Jamie: There will be no sexual maniacs!
Mr Powell: Will there be 16-years-old guys?
Jamie: Sure!
Mr Powell: And what I've told you?!

Buddy: Why are you so sad?
Charles: May be, that's because the world shrunk arond me and my life transformed to the dirty mould, that lives under the rotten stumps?!

Charles to Buddy: And I found paradoxical that there are more brains in the small murmot's head than in your huge noddle!

Adam: World is the dirty ditch, where the cigarettes' ends of humanity swim in the toxical departures of the life!

Mr Powell to Charles: How can you help Lembeck? You are just a student, not a neurosurgeon!

Jamie: Oh! I date with ... (I don't remember the name), but I have nothing to put on!
Adam: Think about good things, Jamie! If you put on nothing, he'll date you once more!

Buddy: I had a very old dog and I taught it to turn over and to feign death. Actually, I only thought it was feigning...

Buddy: Charles, let's go to watch waterball. There are so pretty girls today!
Charles: I can't.
Buddy: But it's Gamma-Gamma-Gamma!!!
Charles: I can't! I can't! I can't!

Charles to Buddy: Do you know, what I think is queer? Nothing can grow on a stone... but your hair grow on your head!

Charles: Ok, Buddy. Where's the key?
Buddy: I don't have it -- I thought you had it.
Charles: Wait a minute, Buddy. You brought the lock; you're supposed to have the key.
Buddy: I provided you with the lock -- the least you could do is provide me with the key. Charles: Buddy, when you buy a lock, a key is supposed to come with it.
Buddy: Not if the lock is on sale.
Charles: Buddy, a lock without a key is worthless.
Buddy: Not as worthless as a key without a lock.

Buddy to Charles: If I were in your shoes... I'd take them off with the socks, shirt, jeans!..

Buddy: Do you know, that in Lilian's diner will sing the real Elvis Preasly?!
Mr Powell: Oh, and I thought he doesn't sing after his death!

Adam: I'm sticked! Please help me to get out!
Charles: One moment, I'll just iron my shoestrings...

Charles: My life is like a water, in which the eggs were boiled...

Charles: You are already fired! It's your first day in the shop, isn't it?!
Buddy: Our boss has no sense of humor. One girl came to me and asked: "What color does suit me?" And I answered: "I'd like to see you in something white, for example in my bath!"

Anybody: This is your fault, Charles!
[pick an episode]


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